Should I stay or should I go?

May 17, 2023

I have been at this blog for about a year now. I have consistently produced postings every Wednesday since August of 2022. I have come across a number of situations and have learned a lot about myself from them. I decided to learn what other people have to say about the topic. I opened my public library app on my tablet. I searched for books on decision making. As most search engines do it offered the phrase "The Art of decision makin", so I used the that. Up popped a book called "Start, Stay or Leave: The art of decision making". The author is Trey Gowdy. According to the bio Trey Gowdy is a TV personality but I do not ever recall seeing him. He is also a former congressman and federal prosecutor. I admit that I selected the book based on the title "Start, stay or Leave", it reminded me of a Clash song "Should I stay or should I go".

I am about a third of the way through the book and have found some of it quite interesting. Some parts are pretty standard concepts. One of the early chapters is essentially about beginning with the final picture in mind. The author talks about preparing trial strategies by writing his closing arguments first and working backwards. This is very much like Stephen Coveys second habit of highly effective people; "Begin with the end in mind". Nothing wrong with repeating good ideas. I do find Trey Gowdy's book more of a "self help" book rather than a treatise on decision making.

I was intrigued by the chapter on having a Mantra. I have never thought of decisions in such a way that they could all be enveloped in a single mantra. I guess another way to put it is to have a single philosophy for all your decisions. I have always felt that given the wide range of decisions and different levels of importance that a single philosophy could not be applied to all of them. Trey Gowdy's mantra is "What's the worst that could happen?" An over simplified explanation of this mantra is to analyze possible outcomes and select the worst possible one. He does also talk about assigning probabilities to possible outcomes. Then put a plan in place to address that outcome. Since you have a plan for the worst possible outcome all other outcomes are manageable. Again, this is over simplified but it does make some sense. He also adds some other mantras. I like "Hey, watch this!" Or my version "Hold my beer, watch this!"

Most of us would agree that not making a decision is a decision in itself. So it follows that not having a mantra as Trey describes is kind of like having one. It is a mantra that you have not yet formalized. Think back over the decisions I have made in my life and am currently making my mantra is probably something like "Confusion, fear and indecision" (LOL). I am pretty sure this applies to a lot of us. I have never heard or read about anyone else having a mantra for decision making. So I would then assume most of us approach decision making with certain levels of confusion, fear and indecisiveness.

Probably my first major decision was whether or not to go to University. When I graduated high school a university education was not considered a necessity like it is today. It was beginning to look that way but you could still have a fulfilling career with a high school diploma. I see friends on facebook that lived that kind of life. They are retired and have had rewarding careers. So why did I choose to go to University of Toronto. Simple, I did not want to get a job. The rule in our house was that you would be supported as long as you were in school. I was afraid of getting a job I did not like so I went to University. Next came the decision as to what to study. I knew that I was technically motivated so I focused on the sciences. I looked at the computer sciences and saw that they were so popular that you had to apply specially for them. I concluded that there would be so many computer science graduates that there would be no available jobs so I opted for the physical sciences (specifically chemistry). Boy was I wrong. When I graduated IT companies could not find enough computer science graduates. Talk about confusion on my part. Upon graduating and getting a job I was still not convinced in my qualifications so I attended night school to get an MBA. I guess that covers indecision (LOL).

So do I need a mantra? I have posted before about making decisions and having confidence in that decision. Also enough information to control the decision and the decision making process (confidence and control). I think one reason Trey Gowdy's mantra applies is that he views all decisions as "Start, stay or Leave". I think I will use the view of the Clash "Should I stay or should I go? Confidence and control sounds like a good place to start a mantra. Or maybe I should use "Hold my beer, watch this!"