Showing Up

 

It would be interesting to be able to go back in time and survey all the decisions one makes.  We all do this to some extent.  For the most part we look back to determine whether or not a particular decision lead to a positive outcome.  We like to keep a scorecard of the things we got right in life.  It usually gives a sense of accomplishment to have profited from our profound foresight.  However, our accomplishments are usually not objectively compared to our unsuccessful decisions.  Our unsuccessful decisions are usually dismissed or forgotten.  Quite often the rational for a poor decision is laid at the feet of an external force.  That force could be as direct as blaming a specific individual for the poor outcome.  It can also be quite general; how often has the economy been to blame for an individual's economic situation.  Individuals are not the only entities that play this type of blame game.  Groups, organizations and corporations are just as likely to attribute bad decisions to external factors as are individuals.  Sometimes individuals, groups, and corporations will even blame themselves when things go wrong.

Looking back at previous decisions and assigning blame is not usually a productive exercise.  Expanding on my previous post on Intentionality, it would be more productive to asses a previous decision and critically examine the factors that lead to the decision.  More to the point, the mind set and circumstances that lead to the need to make the decision.  Which again brings us back to intentionality.  Was a particular decision based on some intention or was it done out of necessity?  I did find this description of intentionality from the University of California at Irvine site (Uci.edu).  The actual description is on the UCI counselling services page:

Being intentional means “showing up” in different areas of life. The importance of intentionality is multiplex: when intentionality arises in goals or interests, then mindfulness and motivation increase to reach that desired goal or interest.

I especially like the first part of the description and chiefly the phrase: "showing up".  The phrase "showing up" does have a couple nuances.  The best way to illustrate my understanding is to compare two athletes.  The first arrives early checks their gear (what ever that may be) and when practice starts they are dressed and ready to go.  The second arrives "on time" uses the the first 10 minutes of practice time to check gear and get properly dressed.  To me the first athlete exemplifies "showing up", the second does not.  "Showing up" implies a elevated level of focus and purpose.  One way to measure that focus is how often it manifests itself on other areas of ones life.  Again, using the example of an athlete training is one element of an athletes life but nutrition and rest are also important elements.  An intentional athlete will focus on their goals when making eating and sleeping decisions.

What about some of the decisions I have made in my life?  I can confidently say that in 40 plus years of adulthood that I have made a few decisions.  How do a few of my decisions stack up when assessed against the previously mentioned description of  intentionality.  I am not looking to determine whether or not the decision was a correct one.  I am interested in the level of intentionality.  In short did I "show up".

Deciding to buy a house was the first major decision my wife and I made together.  I would have confessed that this decision was not very intentional.  We purchased our first home in the mid 1980's.  Technically we are baby boomers so we still had the view that the world was comprised of plenty of well paying jobs and abundant affordable housing.  Buying a home was a no brainer.  Rent was a waste of money and buying a home began your equity growth that would lead to retirement.  Oh my, 22 years old and already thinking of retirement.  This was the way most people viewed the world.  However, in hind site (using a very strong telescope LOL) there was a great deal of intentionality in this process.  This was evident in our focus on our budget and spending habits.  We purchased the home from plans.  Construction had not yet begun.  We had enough money for the deposit but not enough for the down payment (it was the usual 10% down).  When we looked at our budget we could comfortably save the remaining funds for the down payment.  So for the next 6 months we focused on saving the remaining money.  I continued to take the bus to work instead of purchasing a second vehicle.  I even rode my bike to work at times.  Purchases always took into account our need to save the funds for the down payment.  The focus and purpose were definitely there.  I can confidently avow to our "showing up" in our decision to purchase a home.  I have also learned that just because a decision is easily ascertained does not mean it is void of intentionality.

A second decision occurred much later in life.  That was the decision to compete in an Ironman triathlon.  At first this was low on the intentionality scale.  My main goal at first was to become more active so I began to swim at the newly built aquatic center.  I also started to watch my diet a little better.  I than bought a new bicycle and enjoyed riding it around the neighborhood.  After shedding a few pounds I started to add the occasional run workout.  It was all still very unstructured and unfocused.  I was losing weight and feeling better but I had no real definable goals.  Then as I was running I recalled this thing I had seen years ago on ABC's Wide World of Sports.  I saw this in High School so it would have aired in the late 1970's.

Fast forward back to the mid 2000's and I had signed up for my first sprint distance tri.  I cannot remember the exact year but it had to be around 2004 or 2005.  My finisher medal is stuffed away somewhere and the t-shirt is worn out and log since discarded.  At this point I was pretty much in it for the long run.  I did a couple more sprints and an Olympic distance triathlon.  I soon joined a club and after that enlisted the services of a coach.  I had definitely "shown up"  eating, sleeping and training all had deeper purposes.  Every decision was analyzed as to its affect on my races.  I did my first half ironman in 2009 and my first full one in 2012.  Here are my Louisville 2012 results.  Not spectacular but as the saying goes; swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, run 26.2 mile and brag for the rest of your life.

In this case the intentionality grew over time.  My ironman journey began as an unfocused desire to simply become more active and grew to a very focused and purposeful achievement.  Just because a decision is easy does not mean it lacks intentionality.  Also we have to be open to let the intentionality grow as we do.  AS it is said 80% of life is showing up.